We knew it then we still wonder

We live by choices we made.

Even though we can't get all things that we want, but what we go for is always what we choose. And we have to live with the consequences of our choices.

Kadang-kadang kita tau apa yang mungkin datang dengan pilihan kita tu. We choose it anyway. Dan lepas tu, bila kita berhadapan dengan situasi atau akibat pilihan yang kita buat tu..kenapa pulak kita masih terkejut atau tertanya-tanya kenapa ianya berlaku?

Allah sahaja yang mengetahui apa yang bakal terjadi di masa hadapan. Tapi sebagai manusia kita dikurniakan akal fikiran dan dengan pengalaman, kita boleh belajar sikit-sikit la kan..untuk agak apa lah yang kita mungkin dapat dengan pilihan yang kita buat.

Deep inside our heart we may knew what's coming. But when it does come..why do we still wonder?
Wondering "why is this happen to me?"
Wondering "do i deserve this?"
Wondering "what should i do to not let this thing happen?"

But i believe the reason why we still shock or wondering why does it happen anyway is because we're not really asking about what's happening but more on HOW IT AFFECTS US, or hurt us or break us.

"Even if you know what's coming, you're never prepared for how it feels"

SO TRUE.

I always pray that Allah always keep me strong. Dan SABAR.
Tapi gotta admit i am weak. And fragile sometimes.
My weakness come from my own misake, my non reliance on Him alone.
I should've always put my trust and everything for Allah.
But sometimes i still slip.
I put forward other things or person beside HIM the one who always care and love me.
And then the consequence bite me. I was hurt.

O Allah..i take this pain as reminder that i should love and rely on nothing but you.
I am bleassed because you keep me to remember everytime i was hurt that i have displeased you and i should repent again and again and again.
And please don't stop reminding this weak servant of yours.

"Inside me is a weak heart, but behind it is a strong God"

With You i know. I knew it and i never have to wonder whether You love me.
I love you Allah.